Copyright: This article is reprinted with permission on the Lift Up Your Hearts web site http://www.worship.ca/ from Review for Religious, July-August, 1995.
Pneuma is a journal on spiritual direction and
formation in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in
Canada. Clement Mehlman is a chaplain at Dalhousie University
in Halifax. Mary Winifred, CHS, is the Sister-in-Charge of St. Cuthbert's Retreat
House, Brewster, New York.
In spite of a plethora of spiritual direction programs purporting to train those who would be spiritual directors, it remains a fact that gifts of direction are just that -- gifts, not learned skills. Spiritual direction involves listening and hearing, discernment, clarity of vision, and assistance in the development of a relationship between an individual and God. While learned skills may assist a spiritual director, it is only deep sensitivity developed through years of personal prayer that enables true spiritual direction. It is often easier to say what spiritual direction is not, than to describe what it is. For example, spiritual direction is not psychotherapy; it is not life skills taught by a social worker; it is not catechistic training for specific church membership.
In a pamphlet entitled Spiritual Direction, Henri Nouwen says: "It is of great value to submit our prayer life from time to time to the supervision of a spiritual guide. A spiritual director in this strict sense is not a counsellor, a therapist, or an analyst, but a mature fellow Christian to whom we choose to be accountable for our spiritual life and from whom we can expect prayerful guidance in our constant struggle to discern God's active presence in our lives. A spiritual director can be called "soul friend" (Kenneth Leech) or a "spiritual friend" (Tilden Edwards). It is important that he or she practice the disciplines of the Church and the Book and thus become familiar with the space in which we try to listen to God's voice. The way we relate to our spiritual director depends very much on our needs, our personalities, and external circumstances. Some people may want to see their spiritual director biweekly or monthly, others will find it sufficient to be in touch only when the occasion asks for it. Some people may feel the need for a more extensive sharing with their spiritual director, while others will find seeing him or her once in a while for a few short moments to be sufficient. It is essential that one Christian helps another Christian to enter without fear into the presence of God and there to discern God's call."(1)
Because the singular aim of spiritual direction is to assist in growth toward God, there are no set guidelines, no conventional measuring sticks, no right or wrong answers, and no concretely attainable goals. While training in prayer and meditation may certainly make one a more articulate spiritual director, nevertheless spiritual direction remains a vocation unfettered by rules and regulations, by industry standards, or by a financial fee scale. Most spiritual directors practice St. Paul's suggestion in the Letter to the Galatians, "Those who are taught the word must share in all good things with their teacher" (6:6), by making some gift to their directors: homemade bread, flowers from the garden, a book or tape, or some other item; money does not usually enter into a spiritual direction agreement, nor should it. Unlike therapy or counseling, which are professional relationships between a therapist or counsellor and a client, spiritual direction is a relationship of charity and generosity between fellow Christians. Spiritual gifts cannot be purchased; they're not for sale.
Three images of the spiritual life may help to indicate ways in which the presence of a director (or mentor or soul friend) may effectively aid us in our growth Godwards.
The first image, offered by Thomas H. Green, is that of a marketplace. The marketplace -- or, as Green also labels it, the kitchen! -- is the part of our lives that encompasses a multitude of small, necessary, sometimes tedious tasks which can seem to draw us away from the richness and quiet of our interior lives. "Frequently," Green says, "the demands and frustrations of the apostolate, or of raising a family and earning a living, seem to be merely obstacles to a genuine and deep prayer life. But if I am right in explaining the way the Lord works through these external activities and events, then we should see them quite differently. Far from being obstacles to our interior growth, they become for us the very sandpaper of our sanctification, at least as important to our growth as what happens in the solitude of formal prayer."(2)
These are not particularly comfortable thoughts, especially for those of us who would like to discover a large block of uninterrupted quiet. Often it is only with the help of a wise spiritual director that we can begin to uncover and acknowledge the wealth of spiritual graces hidden in our routine daily tasks and to see opportunities in what have earlier appeared to be only obstacles. Another who listens with detached concern, will not only listen to the occasional frustration, tiredness, or boredom in our everyday tasks, but will also hear the voice of God calling to us from what may, on the surface, seem to be merely dull routine, As surely as God works in the world, God is also available to us in our work, however tedious and distracting our marketplace -- or kitchen -- may feel at times.
Another ancient and popular image for the spiritual life is that of a journey or pilgrimage. John Gorsuch(3) describes such a spiritual journey as a moving out from a place of assumed comfort, beckoned on by God into the unknown.
The image of a journey is particularly apt if considered in its various stages: there is a beginning, with its preparations and planning; the travel itself; and the goal of the journey. In the early stages of beginning a journey, there may be excitement and feverish planning - a guide is helpful here in focusing our attention and helping us to leave behind our unnecessary baggage. I once watched my sister preparing for a backpacking trip: with the advice of an experienced backpacker friend, she was encouraged to take only the essential objects, leaving her backpack light enough to carry and yet stocked with exactly what she would need.
But traveling, no matter how well it is planned and prepared, is nevertheless an adventure into the unknown. Often we must stop to ask for directions or other help. In traveling this may be as simple as "Yes, you're on the right road" or "Two more blocks and then turn left"; on a spiritual journey, as simple as "Keep listening in your prayer" or "Look in the mirror every morning; you will see a person God loves profoundly." If we are fortunate enough to have a good and reliable guide or director, we are soon back on track. At times, too, the journey's route may seem long and wearisome - turning aside or even giving up altogether may look like the most positive option. Then a wise mentor's word of encouragement may challenge and enliven us to continue with new energy and zeal.
And then there is the goal to our journey. Sometimes we are so caught up in the travel itself that we lose sight of the goal. A friend and I once planned to spend a restful week together; ironically, we also planned too many sight-seeing activities, with the result that the true goals of the week -- to rest and enjoy each other's company -- were lost. So, on a spiritual journey, it is easy to be distracted by circumstances and surroundings from our true goal of knowing God. We need a wise and discerning director to help us in maintaining a clarity of vision about our goal.
A third image is that of epiphany. Adrian van Kaam, from whom I have borrowed this image, describes an epiphany as the "shining forth of eternity in daily people, in often unnoticed events and things."(4) It is an epiphany that comes through in the openness and vulnerability of spiritual direction. Van Kaam goes on to say: "The risen Lord is our life now. Our life must become a hymn of praise to Jesus rising in us. . . . Jesus tells us that the kingdom of God is at hand in each of us. It is already here and now, for we are called to share his resurrection in humanity and history."(5)
And surely this is the heart of spiritual direction, that one Christian shares freely with another a word of help, a message of encouragement, a glimpse of eternity.
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End Notes
(1) Henri Nouwen, Spiritual Direction (Cincinnati: Forward Movement Publications, 1981), 8-9.
(2) Thomas H. Green, Darkness in the Marketplace (Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 1981), 121.
(3) John P. Gorsuch, An Invitation to the Spiritual Journey (Mahwah: Paulist Press, 1990).
(4) Adrian van Kaam, The Music of Eternity (Notre Dame: Ave Maria Press, 1990), 8.
(5) Ibid., 65.