Copyright: This article is reprinted on the Lift Up Your Hearts web site http://www.worship.ca/ from Modern Liturgy (25-6, August, 1998) by permission of the publisher and author. Copyright permission for the article may be secured from Ministry and Liturgy (formerly Modern Liturgy), 160 E. Virginia St. #290, San Jose, CA USA 95112.

Pneuma is a journal on spiritual direction and formation in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada. Donna Cole is a liturgist and liturgical musician in the Diocese of Newark.

I feel like I live in church; one season just rolls into the next; I can't seem to ever catch up; I never get any downtime; my time is never my own; I have no private life; the more I give, the more they want; I never have enough time to really do things right; I feel burned out.

Sound familiar? If you see yourself in any of these descriptions, read on. You're far from alone. You're not even in the minority. If you are a person engaged in active ministry, at some point one or more of the above will apply to you. For people who are serious about ministry, who believe in the power of faith to transform lives, and who are sincerely committed to the challenge of the Gospel, "burnout" seems to be a recognized and almost accepted organizational hazard. It is difficult to expend the amount of emotional energy required to affirm and support the faith journey of the people we serve without neglecting some other area of our lives. In our zeal to do good, it is easy to overdo, to take on too many tasks, to juggle too many meetings and rehearsals, to give too much of ourselves to others.

But ultimately it is not all the things we do that cause us harm; it's the things we don't do that lead to burnout. The challenge is an ancient one. Ministry demands passion and commitment, but the solution is in finding the way to be on fire without being consumed by that fire. Feeding the fire allows the flame to continue burning brightly, without danger of smouldering or extinction, but that same fire must be careful tended or it may burn out of control. In ministry, there are constant challenges and demands; what can we do to nurture and protect this vital fire? The Book of Exodus provides some of the answers. The essence of the following passage describers in colourful terms what we need to do (1) to turn aside and look at this great sight, (2) to preserve a sense of the sacred, and (3) to tame our serpents into staffs as we learn to trust in what we are called to be. These ideals have solid practical applications worthy of some exploration.

There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire out of a bush; he looked, and the bush was blazing, yet it was not consumed. Then Moses said, "I must run aside and look at this great sight, and see why the bush is not burned up." (Ex. 3:2-3)

Turning Aside and Looking at This Great Sight

Perspective can make the difference between fulfilment and frustration. Having a healthy perspective or vision of church is a necessary part of ministry. This drives us to continue to refine our prayer, our liturgies, and our lives to better reflect our Christian identity. In this vision, we see a glimpse of the heavenly kingdom reflected in our earthly existence. There is hopeful expectation that some element of this vision may become reality at some point in the journey of a particular Christian people. But if we cling stubbornly to ideals solely for the sake of fulfilling our own vision, we set ourselves up for disappointment. To avoid this, we need to take a step back and consider what we are really about. One of the things most of us don't do often enough is "turn aside and look at this great sight." The combined reality of our shared worship, our community life, and our individual faith is indeed a great sight. However, for those of us who labour to prepare and sustain each of these, this great sight is often overlooked as we tend to the details that help to realize the goal of ministry. Looking at this burning bush from a vantage that allows us to acknowledge and take joy in the present while we continue to look to the future is both healthy and necessary. Too often we look at where we are and where we would like to be and become discouraged. This does not have to be. Most of our perceived setbacks are part of the growth pains of a church in transition.

How do we look at this great sight? Here's one way: Take time to assess where you and your community are, how far you've come, and take some credit for that. Most of us are willing to accept responsibility for the mistakes we've made along the way; but we are reluctant to own the good that we've done. Sit down and make a list, actually committing it to paper, of the positive effects you have enabled by means of your individual and communal ministry. Write down what you had hoped to accomplish over the last year.

Then make a list of things that didn't happen and of the ways that you may have negatively impacted on your community. Be honest; this is for your own growth.

Then make a list of good things that happened without any effort on your part at all. Chances are that you'll be surprised to find that the first list is longer than the second, and the third falls somewhere in between the other two. If not, it is probably time to make some changes. In any event, take a moment to congratulate yourself on what you did well. Self-affirmation is not only healthy but necessary.

Now pick one item from the second list (things that didn't happen) and make it a goal for next year. That doesn't mean it has to happen right away, just that you plan to put some effort into actualizing that goal throughout the course of the year. Take a hard look at any ways that you impacted negatively on your community, and commit to eliminating them.

Lastly, look at the third list, thank God for those gifts, and think about ways to build on them. Examining your ministry this way requires a certain clarity of thought and honesty of purpose and a certain amount of dedicated time.

In order to be able to purposefully evaluate our ministry, we have to build time for ourselves into our busy lives. This means we have to schedule time to just get away and to nurture our support systems. This concept covers a wide range including scheduled retreats, vacations, days off, time spent with friends and family, spiritual direction, and just simple solitude. For me, it means blocking out specific time when I turn off the phones, fax, and beeper; ignore my e-mail; and take some undisturbed time to read, pray, and reflect. It's not easy, and I'll admit that it doesn't happen nearly as often as it should. Nevertheless it is essential. This proactive approach to renewal is the best way to avoid becoming burned out. Most of us wait until that feeling of incapacitating fatigue creeps up on us before we react by taking time off. A better way is to build time into your schedule to turn aside and reevaluate your priorities and commitments. While it is important to do this as a group (pastoral council, liturgy committees, ministry teams, parish staff) it is essential to do this as an individual as well. Twice a year is an absolute minimum; the transition between seasons is a good time to regroup. The stretch of ordinary time in the summer is a great time for this. Be clear about what you consider. Look at the balance between how much time you spend facilitating, supporting, and sustaining faith experiences for others and the time you spend in prayer, nurturing your own ability to do this. This is a good indication of whether you're spiritually on fire or in danger of burning out.

For example, if you spend fifteen hours a week in preparation and ministry, and you only spend one hour a week feeding your own fire, you're probably hurting yourself. Once you've planned a good balance, you can begin to make decisions about what in your ministry is worth pushing yourself to the limit for and what can be put aside for another season, another year, or maybe even another community.

To do this, you have to determine which of your commitments are most worthwhile. We all have "pet projects" and favourite dreams that we would like to see happen in our communities. There is usually no harm in trying and a great deal to be gained by exploring the possibilities and potentials in any community. But sometimes we hang on to these ideals for too long, after it becomes clear that they are not working or may be inappropriate for our community. Knowing when to let go is a way to prevent the frustration of putting effort into something that fails to serve its purpose. Focus on realistic goals, and keep the idealistic goals to a select few. Go back to those lists you made earlier and look for ways to strike a more even balance. Don't become discouraged if the scales don't exactly balance. Ministry demands a certain amount of sacrifice, and so the balance will likely favour service over personal needs, but this is no cause for concern unless there is a large discrepancy. Just try to remember to invest the most emotional energy where it will do the most good, and the rest will take care of itself.

Preserving the Holy Ground and Taming the Serpent

Assuming that we've examined this balance of service to personal life, what comes next? How do we maintain this balance in the face of the ever-increasing demands of community life? The answer can be found in the rest of that passage from Exodus. By recognizing and preserving a sense of the sacred, we protect ourselves as well as those whom we serve from the danger of reducing the sacred to ordinary. When the sacred becomes ordinary, there is little hope of avoiding burnout because what we do becomes mere function without the support that comes from allowing the Spirit to work through us. "Come no closer! Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground." (Ex. 3:5)

If we remember to reverence the "holy ground," there is hope that we will also remember to approach our ministry as sacred; with that example, the people we serve may come to experience more of the mystery that is present whenever we gather in prayer. As the community grows in ownership and stewardship of that mystery, our role as ministers of that holy ground can approach a manageable balance. Too often we damage that balance as we try to assume the entire responsibility for ministry, forgetting that we are simply the instruments of the Spirit at work building up the kingdom of God. How do we restore this balance? By preparing well, giving our best effort, and then letting go and allowing that holy ground to bear fruit. Later in our passage from Exodus, the Lord instructs Moses to throw his staff to the ground, and it becomes a snake. The Lord tells Moses to grasp the snake by the tail, and, when he does, it again becomes a staff. We, too, are called to tame serpents into staffs. We have the power to change the weaknesses in our ministries into strengths. Some of the items on the lists you created earlier can be serpents in your life, but by recognizing them and taking hold of them, they can become staffs. Take another look at those lists. Consider what might be threatening to you and make a commitment to take hold of those items and convert them into something positive. This requires a certain level of trust and no small amount of faith. Moses wondered, "But suppose they do not believe me or listen to me, but say, 'The Lord did not appear to you'" (Ex. 4:1). The response to this concludes when the Lord says to him, "I will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to speak" (Ex. 4:12). If we can learn to trust that our God stands always ready to assist and teach us, if we can give ourselves over to that trust (notice that this is different than giving in!), it becomes easier to approach ministry in a way that is life-giving.

Conclusion

So how do we feed the fire without being consumed by it? By (1) turning aside and considering this great sight objectively as we set clear goals and priorities, (2) preserving our holy ground by setting boundaries and making time for our own spiritual and individual growth, and (3) taming the serpent by identifying the things that stand in the way of achieving a healthy balance and transforming them into something more positive as we learn to trust in the power of God to teach and lead us. It all seems so obvious and simple, but it requires a certain conscious effort. If we make that effort, we can embrace that blazing fire without being consumed by it and use it to fuel a passionate service to God's people.

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Accompanying Quote

"I am in Iowa, at a convention of Protestant ministers from around the state. They are ruddy, hardy, hard-working people, mostly ministering in rural communities. The ministers come from farm families, where the motto is, 'No one ever died of hard work.' They believe this statement, for their experience is that hard work helps you out of trouble and makes a positive contribution to family and community. Unfortunately, something new is happening in rural Iowa. Young and middle-aged ministers are leaving the ministry -- disillusioned and unhappy. Working harder doesn't seem to help. They are burned out on caring." -- Wilkie and Cannon in "Urgings of the Heart: A Spirituality of Integration"