Copyright: © 1997 Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada. This document may be freely reproduced for non-commercial purposes with credit and mention of the Lift Up Your Hearts web site http://www.worship.ca/ as the source.
Pneuma is a journal on spiritual direction and
formation in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in
Canada. Clement Mehlman, member of the Lutheran Church of the Resurrection
in Halifax and interim chaplain at Dalhousie University, is a recent graduate
of Regis College (Toronto, ON) with a Master of Arts in Ministry and Spirituality.
The companion piece to this essay, "In the Presence of Women,"(1) focused on the charisms of women as spiritual directors, especially their variety and depth of interpersonal experience, their skills in the private sphere, and their nonhierarchical and welcoming approach. While I wrote that piece from experience, I write this one with tentativeness from the horizon of yearning. Here I want to capture male experience and also consider men's gifts to men in the context of spiritual direction. After commenting on selected themes significant in men's lives -- grief, intimacy, and father longing, I will review paradigms for the development of a richer male spirituality. While I will focus on the place of spiritual direction by and for men in the church, this is just a plea for a more intentional and focused ministry among men. Arnold speaks of this needed ministry: "If the church is to help men, spiritual care-givers must recognize the symptoms of wounded masculinity as they appear in individuals as well as society. . . . Even among many apparently successful middle-aged and older men (the 'patriarchs'), one often notices a palpable sense of emptiness, a lack of greater purpose, and a tone of what Thoreau called 'quiet desperation.'"(2)
Similarly, Pryce in an essay on the masculinity of Jesus cites a call for a ministry to men as a pastoral and evangelistic imperative: "If the church is to reach men, as it can and must, then it must confront the issue of masculinity. For it is this that is blighting men in our culture . . . the church is giving the impression that it is underwriting masculinity (as presently constituted), whereas what men need to see in the church is the movement from power to love."(3)
Before launching into the men's themes, I want to emphasize aspects of my approach which are open to misreadings. First, I acknowledge the inherent dangers in generalizing around issues of gender. Men cannot be seen as a homogeneous group, and while categorizing people by gender alone serves to highlight common experiences, important differences are masked. Nor does the term "masculine" suggest a set of abstract qualities that are unchanging and universal, but instead it is more accurate to think in terms of varying masculinities that vary across culture and time. Secondly, I will assume a wide gap between experiences of the masculine and the patriarchal. Women are justified in being suspicious of men's motives that may cloak an antifeminist backlash or may represent a reconsolidation of patriarchal power. Contemporary men are rightly challenged to acknowledge the underlying economic, social, and political structures that consolidate the injustice of male privilege. Just as the women's movement has been shaping a new language to capture women's experience, Foucault called for the development of a "masculine discour" as opposed to patriarchal language.(4) We are coming to distinguish between the generic human or patriarchal and the masculine, a distinction made most powerfully in the writings of Nelson and Monick. Nelson writes: "When we have assumed the stance of 'generic man,' the stance in which male lives are presumed to be the norm for 'human' lives, we have also lost knowledge of men's experience insofar as it is specifically men's."(5) I agree with Monick that we must separate the patriarchal from the masculine: "Unless masculinity is differentiated from patriarchy, both will go down the drain together."(6) My intent is to balance both the tradition of the ministry of spiritual direction and a transformation in men so that hegemonic masculinity, which is harmful to the freedom and health of men, might be diffused. Finally, let us remind ourselves that contemporary men's studies has its genesis in feminist scholarship. Hollis writes of the gift women have made to men's soul work: "We of the male gender owe a deep debt of gratitude to those women who have spoken out, not only to express their own pain within our sexist culture, but also to free men to be more fully themselves. Their cri de coeur has helped men look more consciously to their own wounding..."(7)
With these caveats in mind, we turn to a consideration of several dimensions of men's lives that affect spiritual direction.
Bringing Grief to Direction
Generally all voices in contemporary men's studies agree that men are grievously wounded, wounds that can be expressed with a mixture of grief and anger. Hollis writes: "Dig deep into any man and one will quickly find not only that lake of tears but a mountain of rages, layers of anger accumulated since childhood, slowly pushing its magma toward the surface, there to erupt."(8) The griefs that men bring to direction may be as varied as unresolved father issues, the ending of relationships or careers, the agony of midlife reassessment and meaning loss, a growing ennui or emptiness in vocation, signs of physical decline, and -- especially for single men -- the loss involved in the choice or circumstance of celibacy. Men's grief may lie deep in the Freudian sense of being the result of the unsuccessful resolution of their Oedipal feelings toward mothers and fathers. Other grief may be part of the unresolved grief and wounding that some parents have passed on to their sons. While such issues may not be specifically addressed in the relationship with the director, they need honoring and healing, through talk and prayer in the spiritual direction relationship.
The deeper wound, and one central in direction, is not being able to love, or as Gibson says, "to honor sufficiently the object of Other, Community, Creation."(9) Much has been written in psychology on the male fear of engulfment by the Mother and of fathers' abandonment of their sons as a critical aspect of masculine identity formation. Bergman writes of this need to distance oneself from the mother as a disconnection from relationship that is part of becoming a "man." Identification with the father, he suggests, comes through competition or fear, not through the desire to connect. "Identity comes before intimacy" is Bergman's summative slogan. The point of most interest is this: "[T]he break is not from "the mother" that traditional theories have described and sometimes exalted, but from a mutually empathic relationship, which happens to be with mother -- from the whole relational mode of being."(10) The male's declaration of maleness involves an obsession with competition and comparison and on becoming someone special, usually at the expense of being with and nurturing others. However, the reestablishment of connection and becoming a man-in-relation in critical, especially at midlife.
A man's actually accepting his "cri de coeur" and vulnerability may not be easy. The acculturation of men makes difficult the connection to this vulnerability and fearful the undertaking of the healing of the psychospiritual wounds. These wounds arise from male privilege and competition which cause their lives to be driven by fear, and out of this they wound themselves and others. Nevertheless, those who work with men know the potential for hope in the male wound. The recovery of respect for the wounds helps them connect to the soul's mysteries. As Jung noted, behind the wounds there often lies the man's genius. He wrote: "Embrace your grief for there your soul will grow." Hicks writes: "Through wounding a man takes on a learned perspective of life. He is not as attracted to or tempted by everything that comes down the pike. He can begin to listen to the voice of God more clearly, and to the learnings of his own conscience and values."(11) Bly has stressed that men can find their deeper healing only at the hands of other men who understand these wounds because they, too, have been wounded and healed. For men who experience meaninglessness, loneliness, sadness, or stagnation, coming to a meaningful connection with another man in a spiritual direction relationship is of great importance. The spiritual director enables a man, in Gibson's words, to renew the "symbolic soul images through sitting in the midst of the 'fire' of his pain." The wounding that affects a man's life and spirit, which has developed over three or four decades or more, can be helped by spiritual counselling and prayer and especially by the holy attentiveness, intimacy, and presence of a male director.
The Intimacy of Direction
For the reasons Bergman and others have shown, men may prefer to remain the agents of disconnection. Contemporary men are often stereotyped as not being very successful at forming and sustaining close relationships. Research generally indicates that men seem to lack the capacity or willingness to share personal thoughts and beliefs, to lack the capacity for discourse at a deeper level, and to be uncomfortable in expressing deep emotion. After a ten-year study of 5,000 men and women, McGill observed: "To say that men have no intimate friends seems on the surface too harsh. . . . But the data indicate that it is not far from the truth. . . . Their relationships with other men are superficial, even shallow."(12) Virtually every study done on men and friendships reveals that men rarely have close male friendships during their adult lives. Men have been socialized to repress and deny the total range of emotional and human needs in order that nothing interfere with the masculine style of goal-directed, self-assertive behaviour. The barriers to intimacy between men arise from competition, homophobia, aversion to vulnerability and openness, and particularly a lack of role models. Yet behind such fear lies a contradictory yearning for deeper intimacy.
It is critical to remember that men's intimacy is expressed differently than the stereotypic ways we describe female intimacy. Men do possess behaviours that help the development of intimacy: the ability to find common ground early in a meeting, the ability to be constructively critical without adversely affecting the future of the relationship, and the ability to form longlasting bonds of loyalty with other males. Some men are skilled at relaxing the boundaries of talk and moving beyond surface communication. Physically, a male side-by-side intimacy of looking together at the world is more typical than face-to-face intimacy characteristic of women.
Men in church leadership positions need to grow toward inclusion of men's actual experience. Their function as role models is of immeasurable value in helping men move toward integration and authenticity. Certainly male friendships will continue to be constrained by societal oppressive practices. But I believe that intimacy for men does not require the prior elimination of forms of male oppression, only their recognition and a serious effort to reduce their efficacy. Ministers caught in the cultural bind or tension of trying to be both "manly" and human may be freed from the burden of being manly in relationships with men in Christ who understand and have resolved the barriers to intimacy. Christian men are hungry for friendship and spiritual growth, and spiritual direction offers the hope for the development of deeper masculine communication between man and man, beyond friendship, which could have a pronounced effect on present and future ministry.
Father Hunger and the Spiritual Father
The spirit of disconnection in men's acculturation leads, as we have seen, to wounding, grief, and difficulty with intimacy. One of men's deepest griefs and wounds, Hollis observes, lies in the relationship of the father hunger and the spirit of men: "Because men cannot turn to tribal elders, and have learned there are few if any wise men, let alone initiated ones, they suffer a deep sickness of the soul."(13) Osherson's study of men and fathers, "Finding Our Fathers," indicates that only 17% of men had a positive relationship with their fathers, indicating that men carry a deep longing for the father and/or for the tribal fathers. Rohr says such deprivation leads to an emptiness of soul. "Without the father's energy, there is a void, an emptiness in the soul which nothing but that kind of energy can fill . . . hollow yearning feeds on praise incessantly and is never satisfied . . . sucks in reward after reward and is never brightened by it . . . a nesting place of demons -- of self-doubt, fear, mistrust, cynicism and rage."(14) As men get in touch with the woundedness and the disillusionment of their fathers' lives, as well as the stubborn courage and grace they exhibited, they find their own self-awareness growing.
The spiritual director as a spiritual father has been an historical metaphor in direction. Merton, for one, wrote of this spiritual paternity. He saw the spiritual father as a listener who is open and who provides sacred space; he emphasized the teaching role of the spiritual father in order to help directees love God and find their true selves. The spiritual father, who for him was more than a spiritual director, comes to take the sufferings, wounds, and needs of the directee as his very own. Men alienated from their earthly fathers can very easily be alienated from the Abba experience of the Father God, and so the unfinished business men have with their fathers is mirrored in the relationship with the heavenly Father. Sperry writes: "As the man risks working through some of his immature ways of relating to the father figures of his life (e.g., his father, boss, superior, mentor), his image of God likewise becomes less distorted. Spiritual counselling, reconciliation through the sacraments, and prayer for inner healing can facilitate this process. By definition, spiritual counselling focuses on developing one's relationship with God. The experience can foster the man's discovery of his Heavenly Father's immense strength and gentle caring as he is helped to know him better through the wonders of creation, relationships, scripture, prayer, and contemplation. Gradually, as spiritual direction progresses, vestiges of painful misidentification give way to a healthier identification with the Father, and a more whole sense of self eventually ensues."(15) Forms of mentoring like spiritual direction, together with increased use of sacred space, ritual process, and critical reflection on experience, need to penetrate the structures of the church. It is ritual or sacred space, often minimized or ignored in churches, that opens occasions for the transformation of masculinity.
Central to the initiation process, a theme well developed in men's studies, is the male mentor who leads men through the rites, fostering in them a more complete masculinity. Hollis writes: "Man's healing comes when the proper images are modelled by their fathers or the tribal elders, or when they themselves can activate these images."(16) We might call the male mentor by a variety of names, like "pastor," "spiritual director," or simply "brother" -- whatever term we need in order to respond more effectively to men's hearts.
Paradigms of Men's Spiritual Development
In "In the Presence of Women" I explored how women as spiritual guides are helpful as men move toward deepened affectivity. Gustavo Gutierr‚z wrote: "I believe that . . . to explore the spiritual journey of women is also to explore the spiritual journey of human beings. . . . I think that if women are valued and make tenderness attractive, they will liberate many men who refuse to recognize that they have this experience in their lives too, and must have it."(17) Often for men, spiritual direction with a woman may be easier than with a man; as Argion reminds us, men self-disclose to women more often than to other males when they want to talk about more intimate and personal aspects of their lives.(18) Such a movement toward a softer, quieter, and more generative mode of being in the world has been termed the development of the "anima." The controversial Lutheran, Robert Bly, has critiqued such "softness" because, if it is the final point, it is not the full male spirit. Men fall easily into the shallow masculine and want to fight back, or fall into the shallow feminine and want to cry or withdraw. It is when men cannot reach the deep masculine within that they need spiritual fathering. Sperry includes within such aspects of this form of masculinity a striving to satisfy women, an underdevelopment in emotionality, a desire to be overly sensitive and caring, and a resulting avoidance of using one's creativity and strength.(19) In Jungian terms, women may (and the church does) encourage the anima in men and discourage the shadow, which is integral to vitality and fierceness.(20) Perhaps men adopt such "soft" positions as ways to reassure women that they stand beside them in their disempowerment under the sin of patriarchy.
Culbertson draws to our attention the radical oversimplification and confusion in our cultural interpretation of integrating the "anima" or the feminine. He writes: "If the 'animus' and 'anima' are both androgynous within themselves, then by definition each contains both masculine and feminine, since both are required to achieve the condition of androgyny. . . . In other words, if both are androgynous, then there must be a masculine 'animus' and a feminine 'anima,' a masculine 'anima' and a feminine 'anima.'"(21) He finds that the feminine animus and the masculine anima have been neglected. He identifies as problematic the underdeveloped masculine half of the androgynous animus and the masculine half of the androgynous anima. For him the latter, which he terms the "masculine double," is the composite cultural expectation of "manness." This double he describes as the 'man" one has fallen short of becoming, the "man" one has betrayed by not getting "manness" right. I suggest that Culbertson's identification of the Jungian double is comparable to Hillman's corrective as well. Reminding us that the "anima" is distorted when it is seen as the inner feminine component, Hillman says that the "anima" is always to be seen as "relative to the dominants in the culture and the 'Zeitgeist'. . . . the 'anima' as a syndrome of excessive inferior feminine traits is less evident as the culture moved toward incorporation of 'typically anima' attitudes into its collective value."(22) Hillman calls for the full development of masculine energy and for men not to remain at the level of feminine energy. The deep masculine development is termed variously as the New Adam by Culbertson, as John the Baptist by Arnold, or the archetypal Wildman by Bly. Bly says this deep masculine emerges most whole in a community of sensitive men specifically through singing, silence, and storytelling. This deeper masculine energy develops through dealing with difficulty and struggle and in confrontation with the unconscious or nonrational. Culbertson speculates on the development of the deep masculine among men: "Christian men may not find easy answers within our extant spiritual heritage about what the new relationships of men-committed-inside community might look like, but they have a clear indication of the values these new commitments will reflect: compassion, integrity, flexibility, humility, mercy, pacifism, patience, fidelity, generosity, cooperation, intellectual honesty, and dependence on others who are also within the new community of men."(23) Rohr includes in the deep masculine such qualities as self-possession, leadership, truthfulness, decisiveness, responsibility, closure, intelligence, inner authority, challenge, courage and risk-taking.
The traditional or Jungian features of the masculine arise from the historical roles and cultural valuations of men, specifically their need to compete or struggle and their being perceived as rational as opposed to emotional. Since men are still culturally bound by the code of manhood, the male directee may need to be approached from the vantage point of these features of masculinity. Ong has explored the ambiguity of adversativeness, finding that there is a supportive aspect in the male use of contest and competition and that male bodily existence needs an "againstness" However, beyond the physical he sees this againstness as giving a paradigm for comprehension of male life: "in order to know myself, I must know that something else is not me and is (in some measure) set against me, psychologically as well as physically."(24) In male talk there is a long tradition of speech as similarly combative, analytic, and boundary exploring. Ong observes that such engaging talk that observes the ritual limits can "express deep affection" between men. In direction men of certain temperaments may expect and benefit from the strength and challenge of such male discourse. The Jungian definition of the thinking function is associated with the male stereotype as logical, assertive, critical, adversarial, etc. Neuman observes that in our spiritualities we have lost the riches of the intellectual tradition which encourages people to bring their training and critical questions to their spiritual lives. He believes the recovery of this spirituality would help us realize the close connection between critical study and prayer. Osiek also writes of thinking types who find few people with whom to identify in their approaches to prayer, relationship, and life. Men's stereotypic dispositions, for the intellectual over the affective in their approach to life and to knowledge of God, of method over intuition in prayer, could be helped in direction by not limiting direction to the contemplative mode, as essential as that is for men. Seelaus writes of the gendered qualities of directors, naming strength, clarity, and objectivity as male qualities. She writes: "Intuition needs the companionship of conscious reasoning which makes for clarity. A person with a gift for clarity is able to reason soundly, can grasp the sense of another's remarks and can put them in proper context. Clarity is related to logical thinking in that it allows a person to see the necessary connections or outcome from what has gone before."(25) She grants that at times it is advantageous for the director to be of a specific gender. Because earlier generations expected men in our culture to be aggressive and individualistic, as well as intellectual and analytic, when men are valued for these historical dimensions of masculinity the deeper masculine can be addressed.
Prayer as Central in Spiritual Direction
Spiritual direction is often sought at crisis and deeper conversion points in the spiritual life, and for men that could mean at the periods of loss of relationships, midlife transition, sexual identity concerns, career change, and retirement. While therapy or counselling may be advisable beyond the context of spiritual direction at such points, the director needs to be sensitive to the problems and dilemmas which face directees. Nevertheless, the primary focus of spiritual direction on a man's life in relation to God ought not be lost. The deepened conversion remains the goal of the spiritual project. A man in direction needs to be encouraged to attend to his affectivity and how the Spirit is being revealed. Many men struggle in order to be able to talk to God about their lives, loves, and emotions. Men generally find it difficult to pray, and so time spent in silence and in prayer will be in itself important for men. The physical presence of another praying man is important for men since there is an exchange of energy in simply being present with another man. Culbertson advises centring prayer as especially helpful to men in the development of their prayer life, citing several reasons: the creation of community through prayer is rarely experienced among men, the lack of structure frees men to explore their own inner resources, and the stillness balances men's preference for activity.
He also advises using guided meditation with men and sees its use as a way to offer a time away from competition, an occasion to place oneself in a vulnerable position with another man and so develop trust, and a benefit in finding unexplored affectivity to better express emotion.(26) There is much for men to gain by use of the active imagination with biblical scenes and characters. Scripture, what Arnold terms "a treasury of male spirituality," offers men prayerful insight. For example, Joseph's eagerness to play out energetically and unhesitatingly the script assigned to him, without pausing to question its suitability, is central to the male predicament. Men are programmed, it seems, to spend "heart-breaking and ulcer-plagued years trying to make a difference, trying to have impact and effect, and to leave the world different that they found it."(27) Or scripture may help men explore the 'puer-senex' problem reflected through the "pathetic, desperate words of Saul, the once-soaring 'puer' soul turned ravaging 'senex' to his successor 'puer,' David."(28)
Masculinity and faith must be pulled together, and Carmody is hopeful of the strengthening of the male soul through prayer: "Take the man on the verge of burnout, worn thin by the demands of a job he has outgrown or a homelife that has honed on material possessions or a circle of friends who offer few challenges. If some good pastor could show him the bracing powers of simple prayer, he might come to cherish quiet stretches in a darkened church, on his knees before a flickering vigil light, as the restoration of his lost spirit. The quiet could compensate for all the babble that has been grinding him down. The depths of the darkness could compensate for the superficiality of much of the work he must do, the entertainment to which he is exposed, the goals he is offered."(29) In the prayerful presence of another man, the man may address questions like the following: How might my love of Christ shape my view of my male nature? What does the image of God as father mean to me? How am I challenged to be strong and righteous in hearing Christ's call for justice? Men alienated from their maleness can quite easily find Jesus as distant as their own self-identity, and so prayer in the context of spiritual direction helps bridge the gap between masculine experience and faith. Men's presence with other men in prayer can help them consolidate their sense of masculine and spiritual identity. Arnold urges spiritual care-givers and others of the church to "wake up to the liberal church's inattentiveness and even hostility to explicitly male spiritual needs."(30)
Spiritual Director as Male Mother
Carson's observation of how men's initiation needs are met through working with other men serves as a summation of what I have been holding as desire and possibility in spiritual direction in the presence of men: "First, being in the company of other men is teaching us to stop projecting our needs for caring support onto women. . . . It is difficult to stop the projections when we're constantly in the company of women. Second, the lover we men have been looking for is inside of us . . . and we keep looking for it in the form of a romanticized woman. . . . In the company of other men, we can learn ways to allow our inner woman ('anima') to love us as we are and then we can love the women in our lives for who they are. Third, facing our father issues is . . . one of the most important benefits of meeting with other men. . . . There are very few men in this culture who don't have some kind of unhealed father wound. And, fourth, healing the inner man involves coming to terms with the little boy and the wildman/warrior inside of us. There is a playful, spontaneous and powerful force that flows through us as men. This is one reason why being a nice guy gets to us."(31) The availability of a male spiritual director to the man when he is ready is a counterbalance to the danger of his still soliciting an older woman's approval. In such direction men are able to experience new understandings of masculinity, deepened mentoring, and ritual space. James and Evelyn Whitehead suggest that the spiritual work with men which needs integration is, in part, the result of a disconnection of the masculine soul from the Western construction of masculinity. They ask, "Abandoning their well-defended masculine individualism, men grope toward connections that might enliven and heal them. Will our established churches find a way to support men in this effort of change?"(32) Such a salvation of men is as political a project as it is personal. Recognizing the challenge in such a masculine project, some question whether such change is possible:"I question whether most men can truly achieve such a dramatic alteration in their fundamental priorities at this point. How can men ultimately reconcile values for care and mutuality with the deep-seated authority not subject to dependence upon of influence from others? How can men relinquish ingrained patterns of climbing to the top rung of the ladder? This has always demanded that attachments be surrendered, or at least regarded as secondary or tertiary. . . . Even if the men do realize significant values of care and connection at some point, this realization still symbolizes more a failure or loss of 'success' . . . ."(33) I disagree and hope that the "masculine discour" of Faucault's dreaming may be gently shaped by male intimacy and masculine soul in spiritual direction.
Henri Nouwen has observed a gender message in Rembrandt's portrayal of the father's hands in the Return of the Prodigal Son. One of the hands of the father on the shoulders of the returning son is male and the other is female. This rendition of the hands reminds us of the healing hands of a gentle father and strong mother God. It is such hands that need to touch men in their initiation as men in Christ through a male spiritual director. The Rembrandt hands of the father is an artistic symbol for the "male mother," who is needed to lead men into deeper maturity in their gendered and spiritual nature. Rohr has developed spiritual fathering along the lines of what Bly has termed "the male mother." We need this mentor who offers us masculine energy to awaken our own. "We need a man to be in solidarity with us, so that we can learn what it means to be in solidarity with others."(34) Some say that the contemporary church has come to be dominated by the false feminine and ruled by a shallow masculine, and so the church and the culture can become imbalanced when the masculine is ridiculed or not deepened or distorted as patriarchal. Such a strong tenderness and graceful justice as potentially resident in individual men in touch with the deep masculine and the feminine is another work of art of the Spirit's making. Such men in Christ might be birthed through a more intentional masculine ministry in spiritual direction. Hopkins expresses his delight in fully alive male faces:
"I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is
Christ plays in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of men's faces."(35)
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Box Quote with Article
"When I am a warrior drawing blood from everyone around me, I need a wounded man to come alongside and give me the perspective I need to see that one day I may be the one who is bleeding. When I think I am bleeding to death, I need a mature man to take some pity on me, bandage my wounds, and give me the hope I need to survive. Knowing he has survived similar wounding and moved on with his life may be all I need to move on. When I'm an ish kind of man, I know what life is about, and it becomes so easy to isolate and just do what I want to do with my life. At that point I need a sage to give me a vision for my life that includes reconnecting with people, reconciling with people I may have written off, loving my enemies, and making a contribution from my life experience. I hope when I am a zaken, someone will be around to help me die well. Maybe that's when God alone is my mentor!" -- Hicks
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End Notes
(1) Spring issue, 1995.
(2) Patrick M. Arnold, "Wildmen, Warriors, and Kings: Masculine Spirituality and the Bible." Crossroad, 1992, 64-5.
(3) Mark Pryce, "Sissy, Strong-Man, Saviour: The Masculinity of Jesus Christ in Men's Movement Literature" in "The Way," July 1994, 34(3), 245.
(4) Michel Foucault, "The History of Sexuality." Pantheon, 1978, 17.
(5) James B. Nelson,"The Intimate Connection: Male Sexuality, Masculine Spirituality." Westminster, 1988, 18.
(6) Eugene Monick, "Phallos: Sacred Image of the Masculine." Inner City, 1987, 9.
(7) James Hollis, "Under Saturn's Shadow: The Wounding and Healing of Men." Inner City, 1994, 8.
(8) Hollis, 79.
(9) Terrill L. Gibson, "Recovering Masculine Spirituality: A Jungian Reflection" in "Journal of Religion and Health," Fall 1988, 27(3), 210.
(10) Stephen J. Bergman, "Men's Psychological Development: A Relational Perspective." The Stone Center at Wellesley College, 1991, 4.
(11) Hicks, 76.
(12) Letty Cottin Pogrebin, "Among Friends." McGraw Hill, 1987, 253.
(13) Hollis, 108.
(14) Richard Rohr and Joseph Martos, "The Wild Man's Journey: Reflections on Male Spirituality." St. Anthony Messenger, 1992, 93-94.
(15) Len Sperry, "Healing the Wounded Male Psyche" in "Human Development," Summer 1987, 8(2),18.
(16) Hollis, 114..
(17) Maria Clara Bingemer, "Women in the Future of the Theology of Liberation" in "Expanding the View." Edited by Marc H. Ellis and Otto Maduro. Orbis, 1990, 173.
(18) Maryann Argion, "Wet Sponges and Band Aids -- A Gender Analysis of Speech Patterns" in "Women and Men: Interdisciplinary Readings on Gender." Ed. by Greta H. Nemiroff. Fitzhenry and Whiteside, 1987, 426.
(19) Sperry, p. 16.
(20) Kenneth Clatterbaugh, "Contemporary Perspectives on Masculinity: Men, Women, and Politics in Modern Society." Westview Press, 1990, 94.
(21) Philip Culbertson, "Men Dreaming of Men: Using Mitch Walker's 'Double Animus' in Pastoral Care" in "Harvard Theological Review," 1993, 86(2), 224.
(22) James Hillman, "Anima: An Anatomy of a Personified Notion." Spring Publications, 1985, 13.
(23) Philip Culbertson, "New Adam: The Future of Male Spirituality." Fortress, 1992, 167.
(24) Walter J. Ong, "Fighting for Life: Contest, Sexuality, and Consciousness." Cornell University, 1981, 15-16.
(25) Vilma Seelaus, O.C.D., "New Approaches and Needs for Spiritual Direction of Women in the Catholic Church" in "Spiritual Direction:Contemporary Readings." Edited by Kevin G. Culligan. Living Flame Press, 1983, 123.
(26) Philip Culbertson, "Counseling Men." Fortress Press, 1994.
(27) James E. Dittes, "The Male Predicament: On Being a Man Today." Harper and Row, 1985, 4.
(28) Gibson, 200.
(29) John Carmody, "Toward a Male Spirituality." Twenty-Third Publications, 1989, 83.
(30) Patrick Arnold, "In Search of the Hero: Masculine Spirituality and Liberal Christianity" in "America," October 7, 1989, 161(9), 210.
(31) Cited in Clatterbaugh, 97.
(32) James D.Whitehead and Evelyn Eaton Whitehead, "Re-Imagining the Masculine" in "The Way," April 1992, 32(2), 120.
(33) Bonnie F. Miller-McLemore, "Also a Mother: Work and Family as Theological Dilemma." Abingdon, 1994, 62.
(34) Rohr, 1992, 179.
(35) Gerard Manley Hopkins, "As Kingfishers Catch Fire" in "The Poems of Gerard Manley Hopkins." Ed. by Gardner and MacKenzie. Oxford, 1967, 90.