Copyright: © 1997 Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada. This document may be freely reproduced for non-commercial purposes with credit and mention of the Lift Up Your Hearts web site http://www.worship.ca/ as the source.

Pneuma is a journal on spiritual direction and formation in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada.

Curtis Aguirre of the
Spiritual Directors Network

As I reflect on my spiritual roots, I see strong connections to the divergent traditions of my parents, as well as strong tensions created by their encounter with each other. I also see that throughout my life I have learned from others, and continue to learn, how God works in people's lives.

My father was born into a pious Roman Catholic family from Mexico. My father's response to this milieu was to espouse a rational, personal faith. He is more inclined to look to St. Augustine than to folk tradition.

My mother was born in Germany. Her father was officially Lutheran and insisted that his children be baptized Lutheran. From what I know of him, he was rather anti-pious. My mother's mother converted to Lutheranism on marrying. She was raised by her step-mother, also Lutheran, but was more concerned with spirits and life after death than faith in Jesus Christ. Out of this, my mother developed a faith that still stands in tension with itself: both pious and secular, superstitious and rationalistic. My father initiated my baptism. After the Roman Catholic priest had laid out the requirements to my parents, my mother objected and insisted that I be baptized in a Lutheran church. For the sake of my baptism, my father went through Lutheran catechesis. I was baptized in a Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod congregation.

When I was two, my parents divorced. My mother took me to live in Germany with her step-mother. After a three year stay, my mother and I moved to Los Angeles, but I returned summers almost every year after that. This was significant for my spiritual journey because I developed a close friendship with the neighbours' youngest son. This family were active members of not only the Lutheran Church but of the local Pietist circle. During the summers I would join them every Sunday morning at the Lutheran church and for the Pietist meeting in the afternoon. In my teen years the Pietist youth group became an important source of spiritual nurture and guidance. On one of the Pietist retreats I had a classic conversion experience.

While at home with my mother, I asked her to help me find a Lutheran church where I could be confirmed. It happened that the closest Lutheran congregation was a congregation of the Lutheran Church in America, where the pastor was an especially strong voice for the love and grace of God. This proved a valuable counterweight to the legalism I was learning from the Pietists in Germany.

At California Lutheran, I knew that God was calling me to ministry. Internally I vacillated between the Pietism and the liberal theology I was learning. At PLTS I met Keri Wehlander, to whom I have now been married for eleven years. Her faith struggles have also had an impact on how I try to sort things out for myself.

As I serve Mt. Zion Lutheran Church in New Westminster, I know that all of these influences and tendencies come into play. I also know that I am still learning and being influenced as well. Through several people I have learned to be more open to the leading of the Holy Spirit and have been shown just how complete the grace of God can be. Spiritual nurture never ends.